Over the course of the next week, I am calling on the Trillion Man March to vote on the side of the blog for the whitest guy on the team. In case you missed the posts Kyle Madsen and I wrote for our respective campaigns, I have laid out a quick biography of both of us. Even if you did read the campaign posts, take a quick look at these lists and make sure you still think your favorite candidate is the right fit.
| Kyle Madsen | Mark Titus | |
| Endorsed by | Evan “The Villain” Turner | B.J. Mullens |
| Fastest mile | 5:54 | 5:42 |
| Best sporting event attended | Memorial Golf Tournament | Wrestlemania 22 |
| Best concert attended | Counting Crows with Goo Goo Dolls | Tim McGraw and Faith Hill |
| First child’s name | “Walker” or “Texas Ranger” | Hepa |
| Sport you would play if not basketball | Golf | Bowling (high score of 257) |
| Song to be played at funeral | “Circle of Life” | Duh |
| FAVORITES: | ||
| NBA Jam team | Rockets | Blazers |
| Car | Anything BMW | Mutt Cuts Van from “Dumb and Dumber” |
| NBA player | Chris Quinn | Rudy Fernandez |
| Quote | “America is subjectible to chemical attacks.” -Walter Offutt | “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” -George Carlin |
| Sports moment | OSU Final Four in 06-07 | Robert Horry’s game winner against the Kings in 2002 Western Conference Finals |
| Sport to watch | Basketball | WWE |
| All-time album | “New Amsterdam: Live at Heineken Hall” by Counting Crows | “In Pieces” by Garth Brooks |
| All-time TV or movie character | Ari Gold | Randy Marsh |
| U.S. President | Lincoln (because of his height) | Taft (because of his stache) |
| Olympic event | Bobsled | Badminton |
| XFL player | He Hate Me | Kirby Dar Dar |
| Shade of Crayola blue | Aquamarine | Cerulean |
| Boy band | Backstreet Boys | O-Town |
| Tony Hawk Pro Skater character | Bam Margera | Rune Glifberg |
| “Goosebumps” book | “Welcome to Camp Nightmare” | “My Hairiest Adventure” |
| Board game | Life | Sorry! |
| Tie knot style | Windsor | Four-in-hand |
| Facial hair style | Stubble beard | Mustache |
| All-time NFL kicker | Martin Gramatica | Morten Andersen |
| OSU alum | Jack Nicklaus | Jim Jinkins, creator of “Doug” |
| Mighty Duck (only first 2 movies—D3 never happened) | Greg Goldberg | Lester Averman |
| Disney movie | Aladdin | Peter Pan |
| Daniel Stern movie | Home Alone | Celtic Pride |
| Dog in TV or movie | Chance from “Homeward Bound” | Beethoven from “Beethoven” |
| Leather jacket wearer | Arthur Fonzarelli | Tyler Durden |
| Male pony tail wearer | Christopher Columbus | Mickey Rourke |
| “Now That’s What I Call Music!” album | 15 | 2 |
| Branch of military | Navy | Marines |
| Color of Mr. Rogers’ cardigan | Puke brown | Magenta |
| PICK ‘EM | ||
| Kelly Kapowski or Jessie Spano | Kelly | Kelly |
| Pokemon Blue or Pokemon Red | Blue | Red (CHARIZARD!) |
| Winter X-Games or Summer X-Games | Winter | Summer |
| Calvin Klein or Tommy Hilfiger | Hilfiger | Klein |
| Team Lauren or Team Kristin | Team Kristin | Team Lauren |
| Gator Golf or Slip N Slide | Slip N Slide | Slip N Slide |
| K’NEX or LEGO | LEGO | K’NEX |
| Skip It or pogo stick | Skip It | Pogo stick |
| Razor scooter or Huffy bike | Huffy | Huffy |
| Frosted tips or bowl cut | Bowl cut | Bowl cut |
| Memorial Day or Labor Day | Memorial Day | Labor Day |
| “Dog The Bounty Hunter” or “American Chopper” | “Dog The Bounty Hunter” | “Dog The Bounty Hunter” |
| Spaghetti O’s or Ravioli | Ravioli | Spaghetti O’s |
| Truth or dare | Dare | Dare |
| Chuck E. Cheese’s or Discovery Zone | Chuck E. Cheese’s | Chuck E. Cheese’s |
| Heads Carolina or Tails California | Tails California | Heads Carolina |
| Somewhere greener or somewhere warmer | Somewhere warmer | Somewhere greener |
| Up in the mountains or down by the ocean | Down by the ocean | Up in the mountains |
Hopefully you have now solidified your choice for whitest guy on the team. If you still are unsure, I suggest going through this chart and figuring out which candidate has the most in common with you and vote for him. Also, feel free to vote as many times as you think is necessary. After you vote, I encourage you to set your Facebook, Myspace, etc. profile pictures as either the "I VOTED TITUS" or "I VOTED MADSEN" images that are pictured below. Let America know where your loyalties lie. I want to sincerely thank you for your participation in the most important election in quite some time. God bless Club Trillion and God bless America.
UPDATE: Because this election is hinting at being bigger than I ever could have imagined it to be, I am extending the polling hours until 5:00 p.m. EST on Friday, March 6th. This extends the election by about five more days, which gives everyone a chance to vote multiple times. It also gives you the chance to spread the word about the election and make sure all your friends cast their votes as well. Make it happen.
___________________________________________________
Bobby Riddell of Purdue became the first ever two-time one arm embracer in Club Trillion history. He also nearly scored a five trillion on Saturday, but was unfortunately called for a foul in the early going. Chalk up another bad call for the Big Ten refs. Nonetheless, AMPAP to Bobby for being the one-arm embracer MVP.
One Armed Embraces: 9 to date (1 last game)
Bone-Crushing Screens: 1 to date (0 last game)
___________________________________________________
Your awesome YouTube was sent in to me by Danny P. There's your shout-out, Danny. And here's your video.
Your Friend and My Favorite,
Mark Titus
Club Trillion Founder